Making marriage an idol can lead to placing too much emphasis on the institution of marriage and not enough on the individuals involved. This can cause individuals to prioritize the idea of being married over being in a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when the reality of marriage does not live up to the idolized image you see around.
It can also lead to neglecting other important aspects of life, such as personal growth and friendships. It is important to remember that marriage is just one aspect of life and should not be the sole focus or source of happiness.
Your yearning for marriage is NORMAL and even GODLY.
The next time someone tries to make you feel bad for talking about marriage or the next time you over explain your desire for a spouse:
God established marriage: It was His idea, so it must be excellent because it was His idea. We were designed for closeness and unity, first with God and then with a godly partner. Do you still recall the whole Adam and Eve story?
God physically created marriage since it was "not good" to be alone (see Genesis 2:18)However, there comes a time where a desire might turn into an obsession or an idol. It is difficult to think that you would or even could make marriage a deity. But that is exactly what is playing out, putting other desires besides God or His divine order is now the order of marriage.
Here are four warning signs that you may have turned your search for a spouse into an idol.
1. When your desire exceeds God's timing for you:
God has perfect order and timing, that is why he said “He that findeth a wife” not She that findeth a husband. If you desire him and go after him, when he finds his wife, it puts you in an unjustified entanglement and suffering. Ladies, every word in the Bible was carefully selected, let no one push you to outpace God in your desire to get married. You are meant to desire only your husband, tame the desire to run after men.
2. When it dominates your thoughts:
You have a lot of time for it. Listen, sis, you can dream, but if the majority of your mental energy is devoted to planning your ideal wedding, collecting images for your wedding gown, playing out scenarios in which you run into the love of your life in a restaurant, you may be idolizing an unrealistic future that could lead to disappointment in the end. Let God write your tale freely; He is much more skilled at doing so. While he is at it, live your life, achieve your desired goals and serve him.
3. When it doesn't occur, you doubt God's goodness.
The ultimate search for marriage has made many quit serving God both young and old. You may not believe this, but with every birthday, Valentine's Day, or other big occasion that passes, you grow resentful and doubt God's goodness and love for you. Listen… I get it. It's difficult to watch as everyone gets engaged, marries, or has children while you are having trouble finding someone who isn't just trying to waste your time. According to the Bible, "A dream postponed makes the heart ill." It can be depressing, but allowing your view of God to become warped is never the answer. In actuality, the tension may ultimately do more harm, which could contaminate your heart and push you into the wrong marriage.
When the gift takes precedence over the Giver. You can't want marriage more than the maker of marriage who wants Godly seeds. If all you think of is to wear a diamond ring, wear matching outfit, Lord over your spouse, get your freedom to do as you please, explore every sex style when you get married, I am pleased to tell you, those are secondary to why he created marriage.
What he requires from you first is to build a strong relationship with him before marriage so he can give you the tools and understanding of what is required to benefit both man and God. But no, you have valued marriage so much that you do not mind going into it unprepared with no understanding of the role required of you.
A person who values marriage highly would frequently try to fulfill all the requirements for the perfect spouse while ignoring their spirit. When you stop to think about it, it is so counterproductive because how can we succeed in an endeavor if we have not let the Creator of that endeavor to lead us in it? Above all, marriage is a form of servitude.
If you are not willing to give your life over DAILY, your desire to magnify marriage is probably a twisted attempt to satisfy desires that you should be meeting through God. It doesn't imply that you won't make a decent spouse or that God is preventing you from getting married, but it does point out problems that should be addressed and the knowledge to have about marriage.I promise that if you put your trust in God, He will make your desire for marriage worthwhile.