Hope your week started well, if yes doxology.
I have read a lot on Mercy Chinwo’s engagement, on how lovely it was to keep her relationship private and how you hope her marriage will not turn soar like that of Osinachi.
I love the fact that our generation is beginning to see sense in what we teach about choosing right.
However you choose to do relationship, either private or public, don’t forget to have major conversation before you say I do.
Ladies, I encourage you to have this conversation before saying I do
Find out what he thinks about polygamy:
We all are entitled to live our lives based on our rules, if polygamy is a no no for you, then it is a discussion you should bring up to know your partners view. Being a Christian or a church goer do not exempt anyone from being a polygamist.
His view on Fertility:
As much as we think that after wedding in 9 months time, there will be a cry of a baby, that is not always the case, find out if he believes that children are gift from God and are not made by women, so many beautiful marriages have ended because the men couldn’t wait for God to gift them their children through the women they married.
His view on Family Planning:
This sounds strange but it is a fact that many couples give birth to more children than they can comfortable bring up, women are being sent to the labor room yearly, not because they do not know what to do, but because their husbands have refused to give consent to family planning and have refused to use preventive measures to avoid frequent pregnancy.
His convictions:
Find out what he lives by, not basically where he worships, his identity, believe, and his morality should have a positive solid footing.
Does he take the lead or he needs to be coherence or pushed, what percentage is he ready to serve because marriage is 110% service.
What are his projected routes and plan:
Does he have plans to relocate to his village if his father dies to become the new paramount ruler? Is he nursing a future plan of venturing into business or being a pastor, does he have plans of relocating if there is an opportunity? Would he support your dreams and aspirations, even if you shine brighter?
Ask his cultures and traditions especially if the marriage is bicultural:
The bible was right to say, “wisdom is profitable to direct”, Christianity does not annul culture. Do you remember the saying, give to Ceaser what belongs and to God what belongs to God. Find out if the family you are getting married to has anything to give to ceaser before you say I do. Because it is difficult to move the old landmark and it might not be your calling to change things.
Find out the Key players in the family:
To attain the most peace and make less enemies, identify key players in the family, people who have the final say on matters in the family and people who he listens to, this are relationships that would come in handy when you least expect.
The more reason why as a lady, you need to have a non visual understanding of what marriage is about and what you want your marriage to look like before venturing into it, because when this conversation comes up, it is an avenue to pick the brain and know how they think, which is how you will base your acceptance or rejection on.
You may say after all this question, what if they do otherwise after marriage? Don’t leave the aspect of prayer as you have those conversations . Fulfill your conscience.
There is a saying that the fact that the mouth will smell again after you wash it doesn’t mean you won’t wash it.