See how Nigerians were elated today after Peter Obi’s press conference.
It is not what you say, but how you say it. I remembered this story.
The teaching and non-teaching staff of CHILD SUPPORT SCHOOL were summoned for an emergency meeting with the principal during the lunch break.
The members of staff sat in twos in the assembly hall, discussing in low tones, as they waited for the principal to arrive for the meeting.
It was not long before the principal, Mrs. Eyo Chukwu joined the staff in the hall. Everyone among the staff knows that Mrs. Eyo is a good storyteller. She can keep her audience spellbound with her stories, especially when she wants to get them to agree with her on something. Mummy E, as she is popularly called, can make a story out of any, and everything.
But there was something about her story this afternoon. It lacked the usual enthusiasm and boisterous energy with which she told her stories to capture the attention of her listeners. There was a kind of sobriety in her tone and body language as she carefully picked her words before her subordinates.
Another thing her listeners quickly observed was that before she started telling the story she got herself seated, picked up a handkerchief from her bag as if she was preparing to break unpalatable news to them.
When she was sure that all eyes were on her and that she had got the attention of everyone, she slowly proceeded with her story thus:
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I guess most of you know why I called for this meeting? But in case you do not know, I will tell you now. It is with a heavy heart I want to confirm to you that the news that filtered in when we came to school this morning has been verified and found to be true.
There were rumors this morning that we lost one of our teachers yesterday evening. Well, I want to tell you that it is no longer rumor; it is now true. It has been verified. I went to his house this morning and saw things for myself; and the truth is that Mr. Kelvin, the assistant headteacher, died yesterday at night. So, if you saw him yesterday evening, as I did, when we had a meeting with all the teachers, that was the last time you would see him alive.
There were groaning, weeping, bitter cries, etc., among the staff. Both men and women broke down in tears. By the way, some were already crying even before the principal made the announcement. Mr. Kelvin was such a nice teacher that all who knew him could not hold back their tears.
But what happened to Mr. Kelvin?
The principal continued her story…“From what I gathered when I went to their home this morning, Mr. Kelvin committed suicide inside his room last night. His wife slept in their kids' room because of a quarrel they had. When she checked her clock and it was past 9 am, she went into their bedroom to find out why he wasn't up for work and found him stone dead!”
At this juncture, the principal could not hold it further and had to make use of the handkerchief in her hands as she buried her face on the table. More weeping, sighing, sobbing… among the staff.After what seemed like forever, the principal continued her story…“Mr. Kelvin dropped a suicide letter for his wife on the floor, or he was probably holding it in his hands when death overpowered him. In the letter, he appreciated his wife for all she did to take care of his children".He acknowledged that his wife made sure that the home front was intact and that she gave him the best kids anyone could think of.
“Why then did he take his life?” Someone asked.
In answer to that question, the principal said…“That is why I called every one of you here. (at this juncture she stood up). After appreciating his wife, Mr. Kelvin went ahead to explain the reasons why he decided to end it all. I may not go into all the detail but the summary is that the man has been battling with low self-esteem and prejudice since the day he called his wife to order of her frivolous way of spending money, she bounced on him with her serpent-like tongue, till yesterday when he could not bear it any longer.
I learned that one of her friends during their conversation mentioned how much her husband was giving her for house upkeep and she compared it to what Mr. Kelvin was giving her which was less than three-quarters of her friends' allowances. And the wife believed her friend. She never allowed a day to pass without taunting the poor man about his failure as a man.
So each time she visits that friend, she was filled with resentment, then she would go home to meet her husband who was doing all he could with his less than 200k salary, and unleashes her resentment by calling him names.
According to the nanny who talked with me, when Mr. Kelvin got home yesterday, his wife mocked him for not being able to afford a common inverter like her friends and he simply said, ‘honey why aren't you ever appreciative for all my effort? And instead of her to retrace her steps she started calling the man unprintable names and reminding him how she has been managing with his poverty, yet all he could do was to demand an appreciation he did not merit.
He went to bed without eating. And as fate would have it, the nanny bought a bottle of Sniper two days ago, which she kept very close to the washing machine. Nobody knew when Mr. Kelvin got up in the night and took the bottle and emptied the content into his mouth.
He ended the note he dropped for his wife with, ‘honey I love you and I have always told you I appreciate you, even though I can’t say whether you love me or not. You are free to go with someone who will give you all you desire, but please love my children and teach them to be appreciative of every little thing they have.
That morning when we were there, she kept shouting, ‘Kelvin, I am sorry! Kelvin, look at me nah, I said I am sorry! I appreciate you Kelvin…’ I suppose that by now they might have taken his wife to a doctor because it seemed she had lost her senses.
What a loss! I couldn’t keep those to myself, and that is why I had to call all of you to relay it. I also want to use this to remind us that appreciation breeds production and as humans, you must bridle your tongue and think before talking.
His wife is now confessing her appreciation to a dead body. Let me tell you, the words I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU and I AM SORRY have been lifesavers since inception. The principal ended her story thus and other things followed, which I would not bother my readers with.
I want to ask every married couple reading this piece, do you know that those words are golden to your partner? Are you using them wisely now or are you waiting to use them in their absence?
You may say to yourself, it is his or her job 'No,' it is a choice. Appreciate every little thing or the time they show you the love you desire, I do not mean you have to throw a party, acknowledging their efforts, give positive energy and affection, all this can be done by using the right words.
Do you know that words are like arrows that can make or mare your spouse or children, words are sent on errands whenever they are spoken, in Kelvin's case it was sent to destroy his self-esteem as a man.
Criticism can be done without letting the receiver feel less of a human being, that is why it is very important to learn how to communicate properly in a romantic relationship, it is beyond just talking the way you feel.