WHATEVER YOU LOVE, YOU CARE FOR

As a person, they are vital things or people in your life you love and take utmost care of.

If you are not like me, you have something materialistic you do not joke with. it may be your 500 thousand wig or weavon, an outfit, a favorite pair of shoes, your pet or your car, just anything you hold dear to heart.

I have seen people almost kill another because their parents, children or spouse, whom they care for were insulted or mishandled.

Most times we go out of the way to make sure the things we hold dear to our hearts are cared for. That shows commitment. Which concludes that whatever you love, you care for. The amazing thing is some care for minor things more than major things.

When it comes to love life, you are what you do, in other words, If you love the love life, you care for it and how you and your spouse spend your time determines the strength of your relationship, spend it together and you feel connected, do your own thing too often and you might be sleeping on the same bed but you will feel worlds apart.

For example, many invest time, energy, and money in everything and everyone else but with each other, NO.

You need to hear some spouses when they counsel or encourage others, meanwhile, their partners are lacking greatly in that area they have so much knowledge on, but they give free counseling and mentorship to others.

Some, the financial assistance they cannot give to their partners, they do not mind giving all out to a total stranger for free.

What about honor and respect, they don't mind giving it all to their bosses at work or pastors in the church, but when it comes to their partners they leave it to chance.

Their love life doesn't seem to be a priority until it hits them that they aren't connected in any way apart from their children and the idea of being married, then they realize the damage is done, how sad it is, to wait so long and wake up to the reality of growing apart. 

Houses and vehicles do not clean up and repair themselves and jobs do not work themselves but when it comes to working on your love life to grow stronger, it is treated with a "whatever….." attitude.

To minimize the whatever attitude, practice mindfulness, so lazy attitudes don't destroy your marriage, laziness not in the sense of not being physically able to provide for the family or keep the house clean but to be able to settle down and spend meaningful time with your marriage.

Stop cutting critical emotional corners, it is not the children or the sex that makes a marriage strong, if it is, then what is the point of getting married since they can be gotten without the marriage union, there is a need to be met and just like leaving your house messy, if you leave that need to be met by everyone and anyone, your life could be messy too.

Usually, after creating a vacant space, we tell ourselves that we married wrongly, well, that may be true for some but not for all, convincing our desires that marriage would have been better or happier if with someone else. Agreed, even if with someone else and you do not put in the needed effort, the same result will be gotten.

If you approach your love life with a lazy attitude and are still in need of the love life, It is time to wake up and realize " You care for what you love".

To  fight a lazy marriage, things need to be mixed up a bit with an everyday change in living and habits. Don't let the pain of remaining the same be greater than the pain of changing.

Are you ready to mix things up a bit? Ask him or her if there is anything you can do that will bless them, don't stop there, actually do what they ask of you and look for other ways to take your marriage to a new level.

One thing I have learnt in marriage is lack of commitment and intimacy, draws married couples apart, so these are few things that would help glue yourselves together.

📌Fix a time to put the kids to sleep everyday if you have children so you can spend time together at night as friends since you work all day.

📌Touch yourselves a lot, hug, peck, hold hands, make sure in a day you have skin contact, it is hard to be in conflict with someone you touch everyday.

📌Be teachable, agree once in a while to do something he likes with him, even though you do not like it, men love football, go with him to watch his team play and support him, vice versa.

📌Find a day in a week, to pray together not with the kids, together tell God what you both want in your marriage preferable Saturday.