Growing up, my mum would always scold me and my sisters, whenever breakfast or dinner wasn't ready on time, or when the food didn't taste nice. She will always say "is that how you will behave in your husband's house?"
We grew up being good cooks and very fast at it, to avoid the wrath of my mum, because once daddy is back and the food is not ready we are in for it, and if it tastes salty or pepperish, and daddy rejects the food, we are in for bigger trouble through the week.
So anytime I hear our married neighbors having a heated argument, I would always tell my mum that the food was not properly made or she didn't cook on time.
Anytime I say so. My mum will just smile and say, "that is not it", I never understood what she meant by that, because I grew up to feel that it was only when food was not ready on time or not delicious that there will be issues between couples.
I came of age and marriage happened, it was not difficult for my darling husband to notice my skills in the kitchen, I can make three different meals, within a short time and they will all taste great. (Story for another day).
Our first teamwork was where to reside, as we worked in a different state at that time, then childbirth came along, then a health issue that kept me away from my less than one-month-old daughter for close to a month, other things came crawling, all through, we were a team and made the tough decisions together. So one evening, I said to my husband that I thought marriage was only to make great meals, I didn't know they were tough decisions to be made.
Marriage is sweet when you examine it from afar, of those who have successful marriages or the lovey-dovey of newlyweds, but when you enter into it, you will discover that what is behind number six is more than number seven.
Many prepare so well for the romantic aspects of marriage, but very few groom themselves for the realities in marriage. Do you know that the hardest part of marriage plays a dominant role in marriage than the romantic moments?
However, what breaks marriage isn't the lack of romance, but the couple's inability to withstand the hardest part of marriage.
There are some hard things about marriage that you are not likely to be told.
Wearing a Stunning wedding gown and lovely suit, being beautiful or handsome, hardworking, humble, respectful, good in bed and a good cook is just a route to having a long-happy marriage, don't get me wrong, you need those ingredients.
What I was not told was that being a wife is showing up every day even if you feel exhausted, making tough choices even when you are not sure if they are right, working tirelessly even when it seems it is never-ending.
Delay in childbearing, loss of job, relocation, in-law issues, financial crisis, trying times, or spiritual issues may come; you need to be prepared for whichever one life throws at you so you don't chicken out when they come.
These and many others are the toughest part of marriage that you must brace up for. A wedding is just a day or two events but marriage is a lifetime journey.
More than the excitement of the married life, more than the grandeur wedding ceremony, have you been transformed by the renewing of your mind to face any challenge in marriage when they come?
Marriage is hard work, I'm not scaring you; it's just one of those truths you might not likely be told or you don't want to hear. Finding the right person to marry is hard, but staying married is the hardest in the face of life's realities.
They will be many times you need to keep emotions apart look yourself in the eyes and face reality.
As much as you are preparing for the romantic sides, brew your mind for the hardest part so you can withstand having done all when the flood descends when the rain falls and the wind beats upon your union.
In other words when you decide to be married, make up your mind to be a team with your spouse regardless of the storm and build a happy, healthy, and long-lasting marriage every single day.