I want to believe you do not do it intentionally but It is very easy to get carried away.You wake up every day, dress up, spray the best perfume, go to work and treat everyone you meet like an angel, your colleagues keep telling you your partner is lucky to have you.
Whereas you drop all the sweetness at the entrance of your house and wear your old self, being rude or sarcastic, screaming and harassing your partner and the kids.
At the horn of your car, everyone looks for where to hide to avoid your troubles, even your helper.
You make yourself dreaded like a beast in a home that is supposed to be filled with love and affection.
They now prefer you don't come back home or you go on an official assignment to another state so they can get a breath of fresh air.
If in doubt ask your kids. You need to stop this. If you can bring yourself to respect, care, show kindness to your colleagues at work, then you should match same or triple same gesture to your partner at home.
I see how my boss in the office bosses around giving instructions but once his wife calls him, his tone changes to be more subtle and welcoming. He becomes a different person. The one that shocked me was how he postponed a very important meeting to attend to his wife’s need when she was having difficulty with a transaction at the bank, he quietly told his partners to give him few hours or they could hold the meeting on zoom.
Yes I know your argument is that he is a boss and he can do as he pleases but in your own capacity do you treat your partner with kindness and understanding at every point in time. I heard a message from Pastor Jerry yesterday on “Bring the love home”, bring it home and stop feeling you are the only one going through a lot and your partner do not have issues bothering them.
They do but they handle it the right way which is to tackle the source of it.
They try all means not to let the problems overwhelm them.
They avoid transfer of aggression because they are aware that you are not the cause of their problem.
Some of the solution to your marital issue is to show kindness, speak to them politely and treat them like the partner that they are. You need to stop being a tyrant at home.
This is a good time to switch it to singles who would get married.
What is done in marriage is: Show kindness in all ways, keep showing kindness in all ways, show more kindness in all ways.
Forgive all things, keep forgiving all things, forgive more things.
You see these two things, you cannot do without them.
You could have every other attribute and material things but without these two, I fear you wouldn't have a smooth ride.
Start learning kindness and forgiveness on a higher level, it is a skill to succeed in marriage.